Testing testing 1,2,3

Testing people lol. Today wasn't so bad I still think most people are stupid and need a little help at kicking the bucket. Maybe put their finger in a socket or eat something deadly that's always interesting. Today though seems like people are trying to test my nerves but, I keep going with a smile on my face. I know karma will sooner or later kick them in the face. I kinda wish I had a friend right here with me through all the problems I have been having these past few months. I keep holding on. Some days though I wonder if it's all worth it. I wonder if there is something bigger than us moving us around like pons if so they are so f***** up. I am not a fan of what most people say GOD but, that is only my opinion. I have my reasons not to believe in that. I mean don't get me wrong I do believe in a higher power but not God. So please  don't bash me for that. I hate test though I was never good at test at school and now there is tests in life come on give me a little break. Enough that I am not constantly hesitating about everything I do. Maybe life is saying that I need a vacation and if that's so I need someone to drive me because I hate driving. Lol. Testing

CHEERS!!!!!!!!!

I want to give a cheer to all the today's. A cheer for all the tomorrow's. A cheer to all that deserves to be acknowledged for all their hard work that they have done. A cheer to the people that love other people without a second thought. A cheer to all the people that are willing to take their time to help and care for others. A cheer to all the parents that give their kids knowledge for good. A cheer to all that deserve it. And one last cheer for me for making it through my depression and coming back stronger then ever. I will survive through it all. Cheers!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How

How can it possibly be that I haven't met you before. I feel like I have known you for a while now but it's been less the 2 months. I trust you in a way I don't trust many people. I don't know what to do. I trust you but I don't trust people. I go on with my life wondering if. I want to have someone like you by my side. I want a family. But again the fear kicks in. I don't want to make another mistake because after the first few the wounds get harder to heal. Time can only do so much and you have people to help you on your way for the rest of it. Well people aren't my strong suit. The ones that are good to me are always there for a season and that seems to be it. I want to belive in good again I want to know that the world is not all bad. I want to love you and I want you to love me for who I am. I am shy and bashful. I love colors and animals. I like all kinds of music and to watch all kinds of movies. I want to do new things and to be brave. I want to have someone there to be able to tell me things will get better or that I am beautiful. I want to believe that I am beautiful. So please one days be that person.

Through

Through all the days I wonder what would happen if. Through all the times I have wanted to cry. Through all the time I wanted to let them know how I really feel. There is one thing that always stays in my head; fear. It always seems to be the one thing holding me back and making me regret things. One day there will be someone who will show me that fear is nothing but a figment of my imagination. That it can't control me. That i am strong and smart. That one day I can and will change the world. That i am what fear should be afraid of. That not everyone is untrustworthy. That there are truly good people out there. That i am not alone in the thoughts that go through my head. That I can make it through all the bad headed my way. That one day I will fly so high that even the birds will admire me. So untill that day I will try to face my fear one small step at a time.

To all

To all that listen thank you. To all that care I appreciate you. To all that hate me well that is nothing to me. To all that make me question my life I thank you; because of you I am wiser. To all that love me;guess what I love you more. To All the people in the world I do care so thank tou for all that you do and all that you have done.

I am glad

I am glad I was your (one night stand) because you were just there and have no real skill. I learn to rely more on myself that way. All you boys are just the same I need someone that will be there though all the days not just one.