Bad things go away good things please come my way

To the little thoughts in my head please stop all you do is keep me wondering.  I wish to be free of all the bad thoughts or at least keep them at bay. I want to be able tobe free of all the negative thing roaming around in the brain that seems to reside in this head of mine. I want to go for a walk and not want to cry. I want to feel like I used to when I was in middle school.  I want to feel like I could do and be anything I want to. No I just feel like I am just a nobody. I want to help the world in some way I just don't know what way........... I think the type of job contributes to some of it because most of my bad thoughts come right after work.  I think I need a new job.  I think I might study film and play and screen writing.  I think if I try hard enough I could make a pretty good movie.

Time and time again

Time and time again I feel so alone even in a crowded room. I feel lost with no sense of direction. I feel hopeless and scared with nothing to look forward to.  The depression I once thought was gone now consume me once more. With tears I didn't know I had start to fall down my face what am I to do now. Where do I go from here. What will make the thoughts and feelings go away. I am not sure who to turn to or what to do for evertime I get close to people they always seem to want to leave. I give so much so I don't look like a bad person and I do so much for people with nothing in return.  No thank you.  No let me help you.  No I am sorry's. No I will do it next time. In the end I seem to get nothing but a reminder of why I hate people. I wish I could be like those people in my dreams and be so bold, and strong.  I wish but it seems my wishes don't want to come true