So thanks to my depression I am a little on the down side. It hit me that I have very low self-esteem. Even though I say I don't care in truth it's all an act and I don't feel like acting anymore. My body is so tired of acting a certain way that I just want to fall down and cry for day on end.
Surrounded by things I wish not. Surrounded by a life I no longer wish to live . Surrounded by the ugly and the bad. Surrounded by people who care not whether I die tomorrow. Surrounded by people who don't wish to understand. Surrounded by darkness with very little light. Surrounded by anger and hate. Surrounded by a pain that never seems to go away. Surrounded by things I don't need. Surrounded by loveless people. Surrounded by thoughts in my head that make me want to scream. I just want to leave and never come back in want to truly be happy I am tired of smiling for others I want to smile for myself once more. I don't want to keep explaining everything about me to people. I am tired of people think that because I have colorful hair and like to wear colorful thing they automatically think I am gay or a child or even impolite. Well just to let you know I am smart enough to have learned how to do half the job at my work and I am good at them. I am caring and I do have feelings. I am not your doormat. I am not gay and even if I was it is non of your concern. I am who I am and I will not change that to please you. So if you got a problemwith me then get out of my life because I won't even tolerate my family treating me like shit. And if I feel like it I will look at other guys or even girls for that matter. We as humans are beautiful in every way. So if I feel like admiring a woman's body then I will do so that doesn't automatically make me a lesbian. So fuck off and for once in your life love people for who they are.
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