Bug off

To the ones that think I am suicidal you are so very very wrong. It will never happen no matter how many times it crosses my mind. For one  I won't do it. You only affect my brain and I can win those battles. You are the reason I fight myself every day. You are the reason my thoughts run a mess and why would I want anything to do with you. You started the pain but I promise you that I will finish on top. I will survive the way I know and that is with good people by my side. Family may be blood but I will tell you one thing, blood has hurt me more than anyone outside of my so called family. I have had strangers be better family then my blood relatives ever have. Family is the reason I no longer trust people. My family is the reason I don't like people or clowns. Family is the reason I don't like going out. But that's ok because of my so called family I am stronger on my own. I am willing to make a mistake and learn from it. I am willing to laugh and learn with strangers even if only for a day. Because of what you did to me I am who I am today. I am proud of myself and that is all that matters. I hope one day that someone will bestow the same pain onto you as you did onto me. I just want you to feel what I feel and then have everyone tell you stupid lies and fucked up remarks. I will never truly love you or trust you not even at death but I do forgive you. The problem is I pity you and all that are now in your life. So please here me out stay away from me. I don't want your drama or your pain. Leave me be stay out of my life. I am done with you.