Time and time again

Time and time again I feel so alone even in a crowded room. I feel lost with no sense of direction. I feel hopeless and scared with nothing to look forward to.  The depression I once thought was gone now consume me once more. With tears I didn't know I had start to fall down my face what am I to do now. Where do I go from here. What will make the thoughts and feelings go away. I am not sure who to turn to or what to do for evertime I get close to people they always seem to want to leave. I give so much so I don't look like a bad person and I do so much for people with nothing in return.  No thank you.  No let me help you.  No I am sorry's. No I will do it next time. In the end I seem to get nothing but a reminder of why I hate people. I wish I could be like those people in my dreams and be so bold, and strong.  I wish but it seems my wishes don't want to come true