Day by day my depression takes hold leaving me with little room to breath. Day by day I fight what feels like a battle I will never win. I fight the words and the thoughts that leave me awake for days at a time. The ones that tell me I won't make it. The thoughts like you are so stupid and what the hell you look so ugly. The ones that make me not want to get out of bed. The ones that tell me I will never make a difference. The ones that tell me I am different and weird. That nobody will ever or could ever love me. The ones that tell me nobody would miss me when I am gone. The ones that make me feel worthless and useless and forgotten. But then I also have the power to hide it all. To push all those thoughts away and win my battle. I may not win every single one but I win the ones that matter the most. You see no matter what people say I can't just get over it. It's not that easy. It's not something I can just get over. It's something I have to fight for every day. I am happy to fight because that just let's me know I am just that much stronger. I am proud to be me and to fight my own brain day by day. Because without the bad there would be no good. I don't fear death I fear leaving the ones I love. I fear not having them with me when I go. So I will fight day by day my own battle my own war and I will win. I will survive and I will show myself who is the boss. I will always want to be my bubble self. I want to be my own knight in shining armor. I will destroy my dragon one day. One day I will be my own hero and nobody can criticize me anymore. Nobody can tell me what I am because I am me and day by day I learn new things about myself. Thank you myself for being brave enough to fight and keep on living.
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