I keep thinking

I keep thinking that I forgive them so I can move on but for some reason I can't do it. Its like all the things I want to say but never do are just f******** my mind up so bad so I guess I will write it down and see if that helps. Here gos............ I hate you so much. I hate that tou never really listen I hate that you trusted other people more than me I hate that you drink I hate that you really didn't care I hate that you blame me I hate that you got family involved I hate you I hate all of you because of you I feel like I can't be me I feel like part of me is lost I feel like I've failed like it's my fault I feel like I f***** up I hate you so much I hate that you're still living and wasting your breath and ruining my life I wish you would have died a long time ago you never listen you never cared you always acted and that pissed me off and still does it hurts and I hate hating people because I'd rather love everyone with someone I hate being stepped on and taken advantage of I hate you all you're the reason I hate people the reason I never want to go out because of people like you I don't want to be in this world I hate you so much I hate that you love drama more than your own family I hate you you think blood is thicker I think it should be honored that I'm your family or your my family but I don't care blood is blood but who cares because if they suck it up there's no reason to be part of that family because you can find a million other people just to be your family and you can barely know them if they would do anything for you I hate you all and I hope one day you see this and realize that you screwed up because even though I hate you part of me still loves you because your family but that is it because if you do I will be glad so happy because then I will have to look over my shoulder waiting for more hatred to come my way I hate you and I am so happy that I do because of you I care more about people I don't like leaving them on the ground telling lies taking things and if I give something I never asked for it back so I hope one day Karma will kick your ass so hard that you hit rock bottom I hope one day when you spit out comes back it's you right in the face because that's how much I hate you